Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
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And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
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You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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