college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
