You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
