Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
