im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
