Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.

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(561): View more from Florida

my being single is dangerous.

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(575): View more from New Mexico

She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.

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(847): View more from Illinois

i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.

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These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Read it at the TFLN blog
(561): View more from Florida

so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances

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(513): View more from Ohio

you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.

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(773): View more from Illinois

There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.

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(404): View more from Georgia

WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!

(1-404): View more from Georgia

Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!

(404): View more from Georgia

Shut up Max.

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