Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper. http://tfl.nu/rdz6
  Replies (35) Good night (2012) Bad night (2842)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle? (1-614): i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you. http://tfl.nu/6cnp
  Replies (34) Good night (678) Bad night (3957)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me. http://tfl.nu/6dky
  Replies (18) Good night (980) Bad night (3841)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M http://tfl.nu/4y0g
  Replies (34) Good night (973) Bad night (10726)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation. http://tfl.nu/z4sr
  Replies (15) Good night (7458) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life. http://tfl.nu/aawj
  Replies (15) Good night (1872) Bad night (5410)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy http://tfl.nu/rglc
  Replies (22) Good night (5084) Bad night (1852)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware. http://tfl.nu/z086
  Replies (4) Good night (2780) Bad night (1814)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with http://tfl.nu/73j2
  Replies (6) Good night (3281) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces. http://tfl.nu/n65u
  Replies (4) Good night (648) Bad night (1395)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby. http://tfl.nu/d4tv
  Replies (2) Good night (1333) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/u1e7
  Replies (5) Good night (1045) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Gonna be tough to beat that next year!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party. (508): Gonna be tough to beat that next year! http://tfl.nu/374f
  Replies (2) Good night (834) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination. http://tfl.nu/22p5
  Replies (4) Good night (500) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.

  (845): View more from New York

  you are a goddess

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment. (845): you are a goddess http://tfl.nu/5u6j
  Replies (1) Good night (861) Bad night (302)

Randomize