The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
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i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
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Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.