Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move

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  (617): Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move http://tfl.nu/h692
  Replies (54) Good night (691) Bad night (3177)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.

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  (405): Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine. http://tfl.nu/l1h6
  Replies (25) Good night (6879) Bad night (1857)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.

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  (865): just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke. http://tfl.nu/o9qp
  Replies (5) Good night (4741) Bad night (1038)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.

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  (414): Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that. http://tfl.nu/4zb9
  Replies (43) Good night (1846) Bad night (6734)
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  (516): View more from New York

  well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks

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  (516): well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks http://tfl.nu/b8ud
  Replies (10) Good night (2506) Bad night (713)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.

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  (910): Like some sort of pot growing robin hood. http://tfl.nu/4atp
  Replies (17) Good night (1860) Bad night (768)
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  (845): View more from New York

  We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."

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  (845): We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..." http://tfl.nu/o2g7
  Replies (8) Good night (918) Bad night (1397)
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  (315): View more from New York

  What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?

  (315): View more from New York

  His step dad chiming in on the jokes.

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  (315): What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table? (315): His step dad chiming in on the jokes. http://tfl.nu/1trz
  Replies (6) Good night (1484) Bad night (768)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.

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  (708): They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me. http://tfl.nu/8o6m
  Replies (3) Good night (1289) Bad night (475)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?

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  (617): I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went? http://tfl.nu/d06s
  Replies (4) Good night (622) Bad night (1054)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous

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  (860): next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous http://tfl.nu/uxgf
  Replies (7) Good night (1266) Bad night (507)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.

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  (604): Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive. http://tfl.nu/sq1l
  Replies (2) Good night (603) Bad night (490)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.

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  (248): Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory. http://tfl.nu/ir2r
  Replies (1) Good night (549) Bad night (424)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters

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  (315): i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters http://tfl.nu/mv30
  Replies (16) Good night (398) Bad night (967)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no

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  (913): Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no http://tfl.nu/66ot
  Replies (0) Good night (312) Bad night (484)

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