In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.