We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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