i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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