"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
