my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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