Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Ladies don't puke and tell
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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