Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
