K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
