I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
