Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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