Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Life without a bra equals bliss.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
