sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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