we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
