Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize