Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
