Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
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he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
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We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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