Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
