If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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