i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
