he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize