every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
