this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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