Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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