Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
