Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
