Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
