I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
