I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
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Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
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I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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