He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
