your room smells of hookers.
And success
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize