i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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