Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
