Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
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