we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
