capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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