I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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