Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
