D3 body, D1 cock
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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