swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
