I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
