I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet