He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.