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Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Randomize
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