I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
