So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Terrible idea I love it
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
