whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
