I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
