Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
