I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
