I wish I could teleport
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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