he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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