that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize