Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
