And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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